Yes, I Still Have Bad Days - Even While Healing

This morning, I had an episode.

I split on my husband. I cried. I spiraled. I was overwhelmed by emotions that felt too big for my body to contain. And because of it, I was 2.5 hour late to work.

Yep. 2.5 hours.

I'm in therapy. I'm doing the work. I practice DBT skills. I show up, week after week, to therapy and try to untangle the knots BPD has wrapped around my heart. But none of that means I'm suddenly immune to having a bad day. Healing is not a straight line. It's not a badge you earn that protects you from emotional chaos.

Sometimes, the same old wounds still bleed.

But here's what's different now:

• I didn't run away.

• I didn't self-destruct.

• I didn't lose everything.

Life still went on. I still have my job. I didn't get fired. I didn't get yelled at. The world didn't collapse just because I did.

And maybe that's the most healing part of all.

Old me would've carried shame like a second skin. I would've believe one bad moment meant I was broken, unlovable, or a lost cause. But I'm learning that one episode doesn't erase all the progress I've made.

So if you're in this place - if you're healing, growing, trying, and still having those BPD "blowout" moments - let me say this:

You are not failing.

You are not starting over.

You are human.

Keep going. Bad days are part of healing too. And even after a breakdown, the sun still rises.

I'm proof of that. 🌅🍍